why does your dog need a bottle?

So, the whole world has collectively decided that dogs need their own portable water bottles for walks now? Seriously. We can’t just let them lap up a puddle like they used to? It’s like there’s this new unwritten rule that your pet’s hydration must be regulated by high-tech gadgetry while on a stroll. Gadgets that have clearly become essential because *cue dramatic voice* what if your poor poodle gets parched during its leisurely romp? I mean, isn’t that impromptu lapping what makes walks fun for them? Gotta love this millennial-level of hydration paranoia.

These bottles have built-in cups? For real? As if dogs give a wag about drinking from some sterile, Instagram-ready cup. Try offering it to a pup and watch him sniff, turn around and FINALLY find an old dirty puddle to drink from. Perfectly imperfect, just like every animal should be. And let’s not even get started on the logistics of it all—do you seriously want to carry an extra bottle rolling around in your backpack or purse which you know you’ll forget to clean anyway? Seriously, get a grip.

If you’re headed out for a simple walk, leave the contraptions at home. Trust this unbothered grump—your dog will find water (and joy) just fine, with or without that Instagrammable nonsense. I’m done.