ugh, car detailing is a circus

So here’s the thing, everyone just can’t shut up about this supposed miracle called mobile car detailing. Ooh, look at us, we come to you! As if that’s some groundbreaking achievement. Is it 1885? Newsflash: people have been going to each other since literally forever. But no, let’s all act like it’s the most revolutionary business idea since sliced bread… Seriously, getting a car washed is meant to be simple. But nooo…

I mean, do you really want somebody in your driveway with their whole circus act of random cleaning supplies that probably don’t even work as advertised?

I saw this one guy once—no joke—he had so much crap stuffed in his tiny car it looked like a failed Tetris game. You’d think with all that junk they’d at least clean the hubcaps properly. Surprise: they don’t! And let’s talk about this… Do I really have to stand there awkwardly while some stranger vacuums my floor mats?

And they love to brag about their high margin service. High margin for whom exactly? Last time I checked, convenience just meant extra fees because they think your time isn’t worth spending three minutes to drive to a CAR WASH like a normal person. And let’s be real, it’s not like they’re *perfect*. The other day after spending who knows how much, I found an itty-bitty speck of dirt on my hood.

Obviously an outrage. Can’t even breathe without wondering if I’m breathing in a cloud of rip-off.

Whatever. Want to praise something genuinely innovative instead? Go check out this to get your head straight.