ugh, vending machines are getting too smart

So, I hear vending machines are supposedly ‘smart’ now. As if that was even necessary. Like, why can’t I just get my overpriced soda without talking to a digital butler, you know? These new contraptions have more screens than a freaking NASA control center, and I swear one of them greeted me the other day. Yeah, because that’s exactly what I need—a machine wishing me a good day while taking my money for a chocolate bar. Pathetic.

And can we talk about the endless choice of rubbish they cram into these so-called ‘smart’ vending machines? Last time I checked, there were more types of fizzy water than any sane person could ever stomach. Do I really need six different cucumber-infused beverages to choose from? No. The point is, they’re making things unnecessarily complicated. Oh, but it links to your phone! Who cares? Just dispense the snack, alright?

I remember when vending machines just took coins and spat out your choices—and then swallowed your change in silence if you made mistakes. No twenty-first-century tech drama included. Sure, they were stubborn and ate my quarters every now and then, but at least they didn’t try to be my best friend while doing it. Why do vending machines need to be smart anyway? It’s a pointless development making everything needlessly expensive and complicated. I’m done.